competification.com

Eng. dictionary · entry 1 of 1 · unabridged

noun com·pet·i·fi·ca·tion

competification

/kəmˌpɛt·ɪ·fɪˈkeɪ·ʃən/

1

The process of converting an activity into a competition, esp. one that nobody asked for.

keep reading

2

The addition of scores, ranks, streaks, badges, or leaderboards to a thing that was previously just a thing.

“The stairwell was competified in March. By April, two people had been injured.”

3

informal. The precise moment a hobby stops being fun.

“He had loved running for eleven years and for six weeks after the competification.”

4

The condition of a society in which every ordinary act of living arrives with a percentile attached.

“Under full competification, rest is simply the lowest score you can post.”

5

rare. A word invented to justify the purchase of a domain name.

“See also: this entire website.”

Etymology

compete -ification

From Latin competere — “to strive together.”

Note the together. It is right there in the root. Somewhere between the sixteenth century and the invention of the wrist-worn heart-rate monitor, the together quietly fell out and was replaced with a small red number.

First attested approximately 0 seconds ago, by whoever registered this domain.

Related forms

competify
v. to ruin by ranking
competified
adj. no longer restful
competifier
n. the person who suggested it
overcompetification
n. the current era
decompetify
v., rare. to remove the score and see what is left

Antonyms leisure · play · a Tuesday · hobby (obs.)

Competification in the wild

A non-exhaustive field guide. Specimens collected from the last fifteen years.

  • Sleepa score out of 100, delivered at 6 a.m. by a device you paid for
  • Walking10,000 arbitrary units, chosen in 1965 by a marketing team
  • Readingan annual quota with a progress bar and a sense of falling behind
  • Learning a languagea small bird that is disappointed in you
  • Coffeea card with nine empty boxes on it
  • Breathingguided, timed, logged, and compared week over week
  • Standing upan hourly notification informing you that you have failed
  • Griefnot yet. But somewhere there is a deck.

The Competifier™

Enter any noun. We will ruin it for you, free of charge, in under one second.

Try:

Global leaderboard

Everyone here is competing at nothing. It is going very well for some of them.

    Positions update in real time. Yours generally goes down. There is no prize, no end date, and no way to win — which, structurally speaking, makes this the most honest leaderboard you will use today.

    Would you like to stop?

    You may withdraw from the competition at any time. Your score will not be saved. Your rank will not be recorded. Nothing will happen, which is the entire point.

    This button does nothing impressive. That is the feature.